“Doubt can only be removed by action.”

Doubt. Doubt can be something as simple as you doubting that the color of your shirt goes with those pants. But doubt can also be something not so simple, like you doubting that he/she truly loves you, or you doubting your worth. When you begin to doubt, it changes your mindset, your personality, your daily attitude. Doubting will always start out small then become a constant feeling. When you begin to doubt your worth, you start to treat the people around you like crap. I can tell you from experience that doubt is no joke. I began to doubt my worth, who I was; and that led me into not only mentally abusing myself but also mentally abusing the relationship I was in. It got to the point where I just did not care about anything or anyone. I would constantly argue with everyone, I would raise my voice, talk back to my parents ALL the time. I woke up every morning hating who I was. Every step I took I kept falling deeper in this hole I felt I could never escape. Doubt that had been so simple had now controlled my life. I never admitted that it was doubt, I always blamed it on others or on myself. When you begin to doubt your worth, it starts to ware you thin. You slowly start to believe the lies you’re being told by satan. Why? Because you doubt that someone could love you for who you are.

See some of us doubt that God is real because you can’t physically see him. Some of us doubt He is real because of what you have been through. Maybe it is the breakup you just went through, the loss of a loved one, the loss of your job, or maybe the news that you or someone close to you has cancer. When we doubt that God is real, then why do we expect Him to do something only when our life is bad, or when we are in a storm? Most of us do not realize who God truly is because of our doubt. We do not believe that God’s plan for our life is better than the one we have been dreaming about since first grade. It partially might be because we do not think God can do it, we want to control our own life. We doubt so easily, like when we ask for something and it does not happen overnight. When you realize and come to a point in your life where you see that your way is not working out too well, that you still feel empty and not enough. You start to trust God, you start to realize that your plan for your life is not fulfilling and freedom living. We may doubt God’s love, because we have our love based upon the worldly love; not based upon the Godly love. So why do you doubt God’s love for you when He states that His love never runs out and His love for you is reckless? I am here to tell you that it was not until about a week and a half ago that I was doubting my worth, God’s love for me, who I was becoming. I started to trust the Lord slowly, I began reading my Bible daily, I began giving my doubts about who I thought I was, and my meaning of love all to Him.

Why does it take some people to be in a storm to draw nearer to God? Because that’s when you can be most vulnerable. You always hear- “Pray for ____” after a tragedy happens. Because deep down we know that there is someone bigger than ourself. But then the doubt creeps in and you start to doubt that there is God. We can think- “why would He let this happen if He truly loved us?”

Doubt was a huge thing in my life. This year has started off not the easiest but it’s taught me a whole bunch of things. For me, everything did change overnight. I woke up on a Monday, February 18th to be exact, and my mindset flipped. I started to realize that me doubting God’s love wasn’t making me a better person. It might have taken a rough breakup to change my mindset and for me to really see who I was becoming; but when people say everything happens for a reason, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Yes I’m only 17, but I know that God has been showing me in just this past week that when I truly surrender my thoughts and doubts to Him, He gives me more than I can ever imagine. I’ve witnessed peace overcome me, I’ve been waking up every morning and not hating who I am. I don’t argue with anyone because it’s not necessary.

Doubt can truly crush and kill someone. So why are you letting it? Why did I let it?

Well I let it because of the people I surrounded myself with. Yes I went to church every Sunday and Wednesday but I didn’t interact with anyone. I kept to myself. So the people never influenced me personally. It was my friends. The social media. The comparing. The doubt that someone could ever love the person I had become. I began to doubt that I could be loved because I hated myself. I let doubt control me, because it didn’t seem like a big problem in my life; because I was blaming everything on everyone else not the doubt. I let it control me because I had felt I was too far deep in this hole to come out. I felt surrounded, by problems I created myself.

Nothing you will ever do will be too much for you to come back to God. There’s no reason to doubt the love God has for you. When you take a second to just breathe and refocus your mindset, your life, you won’t have doubt. You won’t have doubt controlling your every day moves and thoughts.

Don’t doubt that you are too young or too old to be a living testimony for the Lord. I’ve always thought I was too young to surrender my life to the Lord and to be a living testimony. Why? Because most people hate on our generation, they hate on who we are becoming. So I thought me living my life for the Lord, no one would listen or care about what I would have to say. I doubted that I could make a difference. It’s not about if people hate on you, it’s not about what people have to say to you. It’s about you being confident in what you believe, and you not doubting that God can and will do what He says He will.