Words. Matter.

The words we speak on a daily basis from as simple as, “hey” all the way to “goodbye”; have an impact on the person you are speaking them to. The tone in your voice when you say hello or the tone in your voice when you give someone a compliment can effect the way the person perceives you and responds back to you. Your words matter. Use them wisely. Before you speak, put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

In my life I have been through a couple of situations where someone else’s words transformed the way I perceived myself, not the person who spoke them over me. Weird right? The reason the way I saw myself changed was because I was so blindsided, manipulated into thinking I was always in the wrong, and I believed it. I remember this one situation where one of my ex’s told me this, “even when I was tying my rope to hang myself, you didn’t give any fucks about me.” These words hit me hard. So hard it made me lose myself. His words had a deeper meaning than he meant for them to have. I got called, “a basic ass bitch”, “you only hurt people”, “non-sensitive”, “insensitive piece of crap”, “you never take any consideration for anyone or anything.” I was even told by a different ex that I deserved to watch him kill himself because it was the least he could do for me; that him ending his life would solve all my problems/our problems. These words carry so much weight, so much pain, heartache. When I was told these words I began to get to one of of my lowest points in my life, I stopped eating, stopped caring how I looked, gave up on love, only did things for others and nothing for myself, I just didn’t care anymore. I got so blindsided, I didn’t even take it into consideration that what they were saying was wrong and not true. The only thing I had cared about was making them happy, doing everything they wanted even if it killed me mentally and physically. Crazy to think that even after doing everything they asked and wanted that they still pointed out that I wasn’t enough and didn’t give any crap about them. I have learned over the past several months that if it wasn’t for the words they spoke over me then I wouldn’t be where I am today. Yeah, the journey to where I am now in life could have been easier but if it was then I would have taken it for granted.

If I’m being honest I haven’t thought about my past this deep in like 8 months. I have been focused on my future, working on my college degree, pursuing the relationship I am currently in, putting my time into serving the best I can at my church. I am in a relationship that has been going on for about 7 months now, and let me tell you it’s crazy how much my perspective on love has changed. Before meeting him I thought I didn’t’t deserve love because of what I was told and the abuse I was put through. I thought love was only for everyone else and not me. However, that all changed when he walked into my life journey. He took me on actual dates, he bought things for me, he spoke words of encouragement over me, he helped me fight my battle of anorexia, he helped me realize what love actually is. Whenever he would buy things for me, speak uplifting words over me, I would not know how to act. I felt like I didn’t deserve his love, that I was too damaged for him. But he continued to pursue and be there for me even in my hard times. He respected my past and he tries to understand where I am coming from.

Overall, I am writing this to say that your words matter. They effect the way people will live their life. The way people perceive certain things like love or themself. So use your words wisely. Maybe think before you speak for once. Maybe put yourself in the other persons shoes. Change your perspective. Be open minded when it comes to other peoples opinions. Don’t just automatically shut them out, because you don’t happen to agree with what they say. Your words matter. You are loved. You are perfect just the way you are. You are worthy of a magnificent love. Don’t be so hard on yourself just because someone else was hard on you. I love you.